Perez Hilton comments on Hollywood glam girl #4221 and adds "I hope that's not a real fur coat she's wearing!"...protest group #167781 tosses a can of red paint on hot skinny model (who likely needs the fur for warmth) with mink fur wrap. I get dirty look from vegitarian #1223153 for digging into a juicy slab of meat...well guess what? I wear fur...I have a white Mink at home- I would wear it to Big Valley Jamboree. I have a rabbit fur-lined scarf, and I LOVE it. As a child, I would go through rabbit feet like I did L.A Gear sneakers...as in, I would have one, love it, lose it, buy a new one (and I'm talking REAL rabbit feet...the REAL lucky ones with the claws still attached on the paw!)....

I also have about 25 pairs of really sweet leather shoes...and 3/4s of my purse collection is of leather. I have leather moccasins with wolf fur trim and sheep wool lining (soooo warm). My belts are made of leather.

In addition to wearing cute little animals, I also eat them...animals are delicious. I eat cute little fish, I eat milk fed baby cows (those in the know refer to this sort of dish as "veal"), I eat just regular cows too...they are pretty good. I eat 4 H cows too- you know, the cows that are raised by children, are brushed daily, and walked on a leash (they are quite friendly). I've eaten duck although duck meat is greasy. I have tried lamb, I love pork (pigs are so smart), I go through at least 1 chicken a week, and lets not forget game meat...yummy.

I also don't feel bad about wearing or eating animals...I guess maybe I would feel bad were I endulging on endangered pet polar bear or something- but only because they are endangered...if there were lots of them and they tasted good- I'd go for a bite. I also sometimes feel bad for the chickens with no beaks, cramed into cages...or those said really smart pigs whose living conditions are appaling in human standars- but then again, I also feel sorry for children who go hungry, adults that lose their homes because they cannot afford the rent, women beaten and left for dead by men they otherwise trusted and loved, men who have fought for our country's freedoms and yet receive nothing in return but perhaps some change while they sit freezing in a bus stop shelter...

Just sayin....

Just Calling it as it Apprears to me

The commercial of topic: "Our Only Disability is How You Perceive Us". The subjects, individuals with special needs dressed up in outfits representing their specialties waving and grinning stupidly as the camera pans over them.

My issue: Is the stereotype for those with special needs NOT already an image of them grinning stupidly while waving? Yet here we are subjecting them to the very stereotype.

Another offender: Home Hardware
How so? Home Hardware has a commercial that announces their support for amateur and professional athletes. In the commercial, the athlete skates around and a skiff of ice is splashed into the face of the camera. The hockey player (or cross county skier or high jumper or whoever), then introduces himself as "Bob Holland" or whoever, says what he does and thanks Home Hardware for their support.

Immediately after such commercial we get to watch two old ladies propping up an individual with special needs. He or she is a special Olympics athlete. He or she gets the line "Hi, I'm Alvin (or whoever), I play in the special Olympics and I work at Home Hardware", then one of the two old people says "Home Hardware supports athletes like Alvin."

Wow, way to go Home Hardware- you are attempting to include those with disabilities and by attempting to do so, you are still excluding. Why can't we know Alvin's last name like we did with the able-bodied/minded athlete? Why can't we see a shot of he or she ripping around the ice on their own like we did of the able-bodiedminded athlete? Why in our attempts to include (if that's so desperately what we want) are we still watching grinning and waving people? I want to see them at the computer doing what they do best, or high jumping if that's what they do. Instead we are setting them up- you don't see Sidney Crosby standing in front of the camera holding his hockey stick grinning and waving? How about the Gaylen Westen or whoever from President's Choice foods? That guy from Bell Mobility? He's not waving and grinning, no the only people who are asked to stand in front of a camera grinning and smiling are people with no last names, no specifically addressed specialty and a clear disability of whom we are supposedly including into our society and they are doing so while we all pat ourselves on the back for a society of inclusion.

Knock it off media fuckers and let people of special needs prove to the disbelievers that they are capable of anything rather than support the initial perceptions.

Wanted: Job in Marketing

Riiiaaaaaght, so has everyone seen the Sunlight detergent commercial that claims 36% of women admit to changing their bed sheets less than once a month? The commercial goes on about human oiliness and that to combat this there is the new Sunlight detergent....FAK THAT...I'm sorry but I feel quite strongly that the real narrative should be this:

"36% of women admit to washing their bed sheets less than once a month, and to those women- you are disgusting dirty people who are likely directly responsible for the current bed bug outbreak. If you are one of these sicko women, you personally make this narrator sick and I want the rest of society to realize that these women also probably do NOT wash their hands before preparing food AND they are most certainly the sweaty, unwashed, poorly groomed reason that I do not us public hot tubs.....For the rest of you, normal, clean, thoughtful, respectable people, there is Sunlight detergent."

Sincerely,
Joanne

A light hearted look into daytime television! (really- it's light-hearted)

I've been working from home since July '10...in doing so I get to catch shows like "Regis and Kelly", "The View", "Steven and Chris" etc....all those fancy Stay-At-Home Mom shows.

After a few months of watching shows with daily guests and interviews etc. I have developed a significant list of things I'd like to try, designs I'd like to decorate with, and people I'd like to meet or at least write a "thank you" card to (for being so wonderful that is). 

Is it possible for day-time Made-For-Mom shows to actually better a person? I find myself wanting to say yes...well maybe not watching Joy Behr on the View, she actually makes me want to hunt and kill all loud mouth supposedly funny red heads, but on the whole- these seemingly useless and mundane shows have presented me with some points of view and ideas that The Young and the Restless, The Dog Whisperer, the new 90210, Gossip Girl and Bones have never been able to.....I've got new recipes to try, do it yourself home decor ideas....Specialists have brought to my attention that you should NOT tell your girlfriend if you think her boyfriend or whoever is cheating on her...????whaaaaa????? I've listened intently as nutrition specialists and health professionals teach me of all the alternative health care options and supplements etc. Oy!

Here's my short list of individuals I'd like to meet if given the opportunity:

Doctor Oz...he's cute and has so much spunk

Ricky Martin...a great role model everyone. So cute, well spoken, genuine....gag

Regis....Duh

Randy from "Say Yes to the Dress"

Snooki....so we could party

Joe Flacco and Aaron Rodgers....my QBs and maybe I could make out with them a little

Theresa from The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Chris and Steven from "Chris and Steven"

Harvey Levin from TMZ

AND Finally (short list here) the MANTRACKER!

Who are your top "to meet" peeps?

Have you learned anything from watching daytime television?

....Oh I've also learned that people who die or leave on the Young and the Restless, can be found on the Bold and the Beautiful.

That is all....

An Observation of Sporting Events and Stuff...

I went to an Oilers game a couple weeks ago....at Rexall Place of course....as we walked through the parking lot I noticed a whole section dedication to those with handicap status. The lot was full and I remember thinking all sorts of somewhat inappropriate thoughts about the attendance at the game that night- in jest of course.

Anyways, we had really good seats and I had a clear view of the suite designated for those with special needs and there were only like 4 people sitting in it- it was empty....SOOOOOOOOOOOOO basically, these folks with handicap parking status can walk up and down a bunch of steps at Rexall Place and shimmy between rows of people, to and from.....yet, they cannot walk a couple extra yards to get to the building; they need to park extra close so they avoid the cold, and the ice, and the long walk and they get to do the same at the grocery store and the drug store and the shopping mall and the Olive Garden, but yet they have no problem making their way around steep concrete stairs at a hockey game......

I don't want to be insensitive....yet I am when it comes to the handicap parking. I don't want someone with a handicap driving. If the Government of Alberta prevents me from using my cell phone while driving because doing so increases my chances of getting into a car accident, then surely a person with vision or hearing impairments shouldn't be driving....or someone with a high risk of seizures or heart attacks....or someone with poor use of their right leg, left arm or neck? Surely someone who cannot walk an extra couple of feet to and from Starbucks is someone who cannot possibly react to the roads the way they need to.

I accept those that are driving someone with needs around and need special access- they have to set up a wheel chair or walk them across the icy pavement etc. But more often then not, there is one person in the car (should I say jacked up big rig, Cadillac Escalade, Yukon Denali).

Or how about buddy who parks in the stall, flashing his card, hops down from his Super Charged F350, lights a cigarette and then walks into the Liquor store....like seriously? I am walking a block to the bank so that THIS guy doesn't have to suffer any more from Black Lung then he already is? Like how sick are you? Or how impaired are you that you drive a monster truck and smoke a pack a day? I don't want to accommodate you!

Fuck, here I am freezing my ass off as I run into the Walmart....I forgot my mittens, my glasses fog up upon entering and my cart gets stuck in all the snow on the way to my car, but Mr and Mrs Muffet there, who walked down 88 stairs to get to their prime Oilers game seats saunter on in no problem because they are handicap for some reason.

And don't even get me started on special parking for moms with kids and seniors....being a senior is not the equivalent to someone incapable of walking- my dad is 71 and he still farms 3 sections of land, alone if not for 1 month of which he has another 71 year old helping him harvest. 

I also don't know anyone more in need of parking farther away than a mother with children- sure there are times when it's too cold to be fussing outside with a child and a car seat, baby is sick, mom's tired as a result of basic mom routine or the kid throws a fit and it's fairly difficult to drag said child across the lot without looking like you're incapable of raising a family....but for the most part, kids and moms alike could use the exercise....kids to burn off energy and moms to lose the baby fat- that's right- I SAID IT. 

Point is, none of these points warrant special parking privileges...if one disagrees then maybe there should be special parking for those with hybrid cars too, or for being a regular patron of whatever store, or for being blonde- because it's a recessive gene, we are like endangered species and communities should do their best to preserve a healthy and vibrant blond population. OR at least explain to poor ignorant me, how or why handicaps -who cannot walk to the door, but can get around hockey rinks- drive, yet those on cell phones cannot. 

This is fucking Alberta, it's minus fucking 20 degrees Celsius and I'm here first and I am sooooooooo tired of always having to park a zillion miles from the door. 

SIDE NOTE: I actually walked to the grocery store the other day because by the time my car warmed up and I found a parking spot, I would have been able to walk there and back.  Was I able to skip the line? Did anyone give me a high five? Or watch my dog outside for me while I grabbed a block of cheese? No......

Fucking parking