My Temporary Rent Controls

The opposition parties of Alberta want temporary rent controls placed as a means of affordable housing....so that the Alberta people can afford to live here in the province....I will show you temporary rent controls:

1. get a job....if this job you get does not pay enough, get another (there are thousands out there all BEGGING for people like you to work); should you not have the time to work 2 jobs, get a job that pays well enough (there are thousands out there all BEGGING for people like you to work).

2. Stop procreating...just because you can doesn't mean you should (this rule also applies to ugly people). Can you not afford to pay rent, make car payments, feed yourself, and care for a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd child, then perhaps you should reconsider the baby making thing until you can do so.

3. Move. I hear you can get a fairly large home in Saskatchewan for under $200,000, and the economy is on the verge of explosion, think of the money you could make in a few years if you would just MOVE AWAY.

4. Just because you don't own the place doesn't mean you can't show some pride for your home. As a landlord, should I do a walk-through of my property only to see that you and your dirty friends have trashed the place and refuse to show it the respect it deserves, then I shall raise the rent...why? Because I don't want you there; I would rather rent to someone who appreciates the property.

5. Cancel the caller id option on your phone bill, cut back your cable to the standard 13 channels, auction off your $1800 Louis Vuitton hand bag, turn your heat down to 20 degrees or so, wash your clothes in cold water, wear your $300 Rock and Republic jeans more than once (more like until they fall apart), turn the lights/TV/radio off when you leave a room, lay off the potato chips, buy store brand EVERYTHING (they are really just as effective as the name-brand products) drive less, tell your kid to chill on the video games and get a life (like maybe play the old fashioned way...with his/her IMAGINATION), idle your car less, stop dinning out, reconsider going to that $20 movie at Silver City, cancel the island getaway vacation to the Dominican, stop obsessing about HGTV and your insistance on creating a "fresh, modern and yet welcoming" environment and just buy your parent's old sofa bed for $50 already, sell the dog, and quit smoking...this will save you money so you can pay your rent.